A Parent's Take on the College Journey

Matt Crow/Undergraduate Admissions

There are many people in the world of college admissions who are truly “experts” on the whole process. I am not one of those “experts” by any stretch of the imagination. What I am is a dad. I am lucky enough to be the father of a current Shocker. All that means, besides having a tremendous amount of pride in that fact, is that I have been through the admissions process with him and may have a different perspective than the “experts." Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I hope I can offer some small bits of advice on how students (and parents) can best navigate the craziness of finding the right college/university for them.

Students

1. Be you! Be authentic!

I am also a professor here at WSU and every fall we do our own set of interviews for the incoming class within our program. I love how the interview process allows me to get to know each student personally, but each year there are students who try to be “what they think we want” instead of being themselves. Own yourself! Be true to yourself and be the most authentic “you” you can be. I mean this in all aspects of the process. Be true to yourself in high school. Take the classes you need to take to succeed, but also take the classes you love. When contacting colleges, let your personality shine. Let them hear and see who you truly are. When going on campus visits, be you. If you like to talk and engage, then do just that. If you like to sit back and take it all in, do that and pick your spots to engage those around you so you are not forgotten. Wichita State is not trying to fill a quota of each personality type out there. We are trying to find the students who will simply love to be a part of this great thing we have going on.

2. Participate

This is a two-fold statement. First, participate in as many activities, classes, clubs, sports and events as you can while in high school. I know how busy high school can get, but I found with my son (and now my daughter) that there is more time available than you think. Everyone loves their downtime, but being a well-rounded participant in life is what colleges and universities want to see. It shows that you will actively work toward bettering yourself as a person and bettering the university and community while being a student.

Second, get fully involved in the admissions process. Tour the campus! I used to coach women’s volleyball here at WSU and I always said that if I can get a player to come for a campus visit, the university will sell itself. WSU has a beautiful, vibrant campus full of life and energy. Participate in as many events put on by our Admissions office as you can! Wichita State will often come to you with events like Discover Wichita State and Admitted Student Receptions. They host tons of on-campus events like Black & Yellow Days, Distinguished Scholarship Invitational, W-S-You, and Family Days. Get involved with as many events as you can. It will only help you learn more about Wichita State and stoke your fire to come here!

3. Balance

In real estate, it is all about location, location, location. In high school (and once you are in college) it is all about balance, balance, balance. Every university wants to see that you challenge yourself throughout high school by taking courses that will prepare you for college, but did you balance that out with other things in life? Were you active in your high school with sports, clubs, fine arts, and/or volunteer work? Were you active outside of your high school with church groups, work, and/or clubs? And, perhaps most importantly, did you take time to enjoy the things that keep you balanced in life? What hobbies do you love? What events are your favorites? What music feeds your soul? Balance all the hard work you do to get to the next step with things that bring you back to the center and help make you whole!

4. Everyone is important

When I was teaching high school science my mentor gave me a great piece of advice. He said, “Treat the janitor of the building the same way you treat the principal of the school.” Everyone in life is working hard to make it day to day. It doesn’t matter if you are talking with the drive-thru worker at your favorite fast-food restaurant or the President of the United States. Everyone deserves your respect! You never know when the person you meet on the street will be the doctor trying to save your life after an accident or the person interviewing you for a scholarship in college. Each person is a valuable cog in the workings of life. Life is tough for almost everyone, in one way or another. Treat everyone with respect and make them feel as important as they truly are!

5. No one is perfect

You cannot find a single perfect person in this world. They don’t exist. You might think that cute boy or girl in your algebra class is “perfect” in every way, shape and form, but they are not. The key is not to act like you are perfect. Own your mistakes! No matter how big or small they are. Don’t try to hide them from people. Talk about them and discuss what you have learned from those mistakes. When interviewing candidates for our program, it means so much more when a person discusses their mistakes and tells me how they have improved and evolved from that mistake, than when they try to avoid it and act like it never happened. The world is a big place, but information is easily accessible to everyone. Most times people will discover your mistakes whether you tell them about them or not. So, let them know it happened and let them see how you are a better person because you learned from it.

Parents

1. Offer guidance, not directions

Being a parent is hard. Being a parent who allows their children to do things on their own is harder, especially when the outcome is where your child and money will be going for the next four to five years. Trust in yourself that you have taught your sons and daughters well and that they will take those teachings to heart. That doesn’t mean stepping back from the admissions process and letting it happen. It just means that you can guide your students places without telling them the who, what, when, where, and whys of the process.

2. Be straightforward with your student

Be ready to have the hard conversations with your students. There are a lot of intelligent, hard-working students in this world who would absolutely love to go to an Ivy League school. There are a lot of parents and families of those same students who know that financially they cannot afford Ivy League schools. Take the time to sit down with your student and have a straight talk about finances, expectations and logistics of college life. Your son or daughter’s first college choice may not be realistic because of finances, location or available programs. Your student will appreciate knowing what is possible for your family as early on in the process as possible. That doesn’t mean sacrifices can’t be made, but your student needs to know what those sacrifices are going to mean.

3. Be engaged in the process

I can hear you right now saying, “Wait a minute. You just told me in Step 1 to not give directions to my son/daughter. Now you are telling me to be engaged in the process?” There is a difference between telling them how to do things and being engaged. Show interest in the process. Be involved in researching schools and programs. Ask your student questions about what they are looking for and where they are looking. Help them with application essays and processes. Attend information sessions and campus visits (in-person or virtually). Let your student know by your actions that you are a part of the process and that you are excited for them! It is a scary and hectic time, for students and parents alike when thinking about going off on your own for the first time. Make sure they know that you are here for them throughout the process and their lives.