Grief Handout – General

Accessible Handout Description

Front Side

What to Expect and What to Do When Faced with Loss

Grief reactions are unique to each person and can show up in different ways. In the time following a loss, what you may experience will change as you move through various ways of processing the loss. However, some common reactions include the following:

Emotions

• Shock
• Anger
• Guilt
• Sadness
• Loneliness
• Fear
• Disbelief
• Remorse
• Relief
• Helplessness
• Yearning
• Confusion
• Anxiety
• Numbness
• Resentment
• Regret
• Irritability
• Overwhelmed

Physiological Reactions

• Change in sleep
• Change in appetite
• Low energy
• Lowered immunity
• Aches in body
• Dizziness
• Difficulty breathing
• Increased heart rate

Behavioral Responses

• Withdrawal
• Increased substance use
• Changes in responsibilities
• Difficulty resting

Cognitive Changes

• Difficulty concentrating
• Disinterest in school or typical activity
• Confusion
• Nightmares
• Greater vigilance to possible threats
• Intrusive images

Amongst all the changes and your grief reaction, some things that may be helpful to remember or practice include:

• Do what’s right for you. Go at your own pace. There is no one right to grieve, and you are allowed to feel whatever may come up. Avoid comparing your reactions to those of others.
• Seek out social supports and spend time with others. You may be surprised at the support and shared sense of loss that can be felt with others impacted. Being around others will also mitigate possible feelings of loneliness.
• Remember that grief is not linear. While the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) provide a helpful framework of understanding what is happening, these stages do not move cleanly from one to the next for many people.

Back Side

List continues from front side:

• Express and release your emotions (talking, journaling, crying, art). Intense and
  varied emotions are normal in the face of loss, and when expressed and directed, these
  feelings can help process and cope with grief.
• Reach out to your faith or spiritual connection. Being able to make meaning from a
  loss or connect to a faith-based understanding of what happens after loss can help in
  accessing supports and processing the loss.
• Maintain healthy eating and activity levels. Continuing to engage in routines to
  maintain your health is important for giving your body the energy and resources
  necessary to handle the aftereffects and changes in your life as a result of a loss.
• Refrain from judging others’ responses. Recognize that whether you tend to seek
  active support from others when faced with issues, or tend to consider things on your
  own, it’s important to respect others’ perspectives and provide support at a level and in
  a manner that they desire. Ask others how you can be helpful and what the limits are.
• Remind yourself that some things are out of your control. After a loss, people often
  try to figure out what they could have done differently or wish that they had done
  something different. Resist letting this guilt take over, and practice accepting what
  you cannot change. Practicing self-compassion and understanding can also be helpful
  in preventing a spiral of remorse.
• Practice active listening with others. Giving others an opportunity to share their
  experience or vent can be very helpful and healing to both of you, as well as encourage
  greater connection between yourself and the other person.
• Allow joy and humor into your life. Humor and laughter relieves stress, improves
  mood, and helps us gain a more balanced perspective. Should it come, allow yourself to
  laugh and feel joy.
• Consider others’ assessments of your well-being. Others close to
  you may be better able to recognize if you are struggling to cope
  with this loss. Listen to their concerns and be open to the
  support they offer.
• Seek professional help. If you are concerned about your
  grief reaction, would like additional support, or experience
  suicidal thoughts, seeking counseling can help manage
  everything you’re going through. WSU’s Counseling and Prevention
  Services are available at the Steve Clark YMCA, as part of
  the Student Wellness Center. Set up an appointment by
  calling 316-978-4792.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

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