We currently live in a world that is focused on achievement, success and a high social status. While these can be great attributes and goals to strive for, it seems that many people feel a pressure to be perfect. That only once we have perfected ourselves and our work, we can say that we have achieved success, and that a higher social status is the ultimate proof that we have reached perfection.
We can find ourselves feeling bombarded with external messages that place conditions on our own and other people’s value. Eventually, these messages can become internal beliefs we have about who we are and our place in the world, which influence how we accept and treat other people.
Perfection is an expectation that can never be met. Perfection is beyond our human capacity and nature, as we are all imperfect and complex human beings. A focus on perfection is also highly restricting and often times results in a negatively skewed perspective about ourselves, others and life. Perfection does not allow us to see or appreciate our own or another person’s effort, progress or uniqueness. Most importantly, perfection is not a measure of our value as a person. Every human being is born into this world with innate value and worthiness.
So how do we respond to the external pressures and messages to seek perfection? For me, the answer is self-compassion. The literal definition of compassion is to “suffer with.” When we have compassion for the suffering of others, we not only see the person’s suffering, our heart responds to the pain as if we are experiencing the suffering. With compassion, we offer kindness and understanding in response to mistakes rather than responding with judgements. With compassion, we accept that suffering, mistakes and imperfections are a part of the shared human experience. By showing ourselves compassion, we can reduce our suffering by leaning into this reality and moving through it so that we can learn and grow.
The next time you find yourself struggling or suffering, remember that you are innately worthy. To be human is to be imperfect, and you are deserving of kindness and self-compassion.
For more information about self-compassion, please visit self-compassion.org.
Much love and appreciation to you all!